This is the part where I try to find redeeming qualities for Simon Sez, but I don’t think I have the strength this time. While I don’t necessarily disagree with New York Times writer Lawrence Van Gelder for describing Dennis Rodman as “inescapably watchable,” his charisma simply isn’t enough to hold it all together. But like I’ve said in the past, there is inherent entertainment value in ill-fated action comedies like Simon Sez, so I’ll extend an olive branch by telling you that this is a perfect party movie.

If you want every single movie you watch for the rest of your life to be a comparatively better viewing experience, then Simon Sez comes with strong recommendations. As of this writing, the only way to view this disjointed romp is by purchasing it on-demand through Apple TV+, Amazon Prime Video, Fandango At Home, or Microsoft.