Being a mom to a toddler and getting five minutes to yourself can seem like an impossible task.
Between the endless questions and constant supervision, your presence as a parent is demanding.
Amber Henry, 29, claims to have “cracked motherhood,” and just had to share it with those who are new to parenting.
“Being a toddler mom is hectic, and it can be hard to get five minutes when they are this young, so it’s a funny, stroke lighthearted, way to achieve that for myself,” she told Newsweek.
The TikTok video, which shows Henry speaking to the camera wearing beauty under-eye patches, accredited her new ability to ringfence some time to the reverse psychology technique.
She explains, if you want some space to do something without your toddler, go and do something they don’t want to do.
“Last night, I wanted five minutes to wash my face and my daughter would not leave me alone.
“I said, ‘It’s bath time.’ Gone.” Henry also gave another example where her daughter wouldn’t rouse herself after a sleep, so she went downstairs and made herself a coffee and she was down in a second.
“It took me three years to realize this. My life is about to get so much simpler.”
Henry acknowledged some of the comments that warned her about reverse psychology, so we asked an expert if there’s anything parents should be aware of in this area.
First, a distinction between reverse psychology and what Henry is doing.
“Reverse psychology is a persuasion technique that involves asking someone to do the opposite of what you want them to do, with the expectation that they will then do what you actually want,” explains Naomi Magnis, a psychotherapist and clinical director at North London Therapy.
The idea behind reverse psychology is that by advocating the opposite of what you want, the other person will engage in the behavior you desire.
Magnis says Henry isn’t using this technique, and instead, “duping her [child] into believing something she doesn’t want to happen is about to happen, so that her child makes themself scarce and gives her space.”
Magnis advises a more direct form of communication. For example: “‘Mummy needs 10 minutes to wash her face, why don’t you get a book or some drawing while I do that?’ This would help her child to understand that her mom is a person with her own needs.”
Many TikTok parents reported their success by using a technique like Henry’s in scenarios like bath time or mealtimes, but some expressed concern that it could end negatively in the long run.
“I’ve seen some comments warning about reverse psychology and to be sure not to teach if she just runs away, that means she gets out of bath time completely, but I always follow through,” Henry told Newsweek.
“Sometimes I just want to brush my teeth in peace.”
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.