Kail Lowry recently opened up about her longtime estrangement from her mother, Suzi Irwin, admitting that she still feels extremely guilty for going “no contact” with her mom years ago.

During Friday’s episode of her Barely Famous podcast, Kail was discussing Gypsy-Rose Blanchard‘s reality show, Gypsy-Rose: Life After Lockup, and wondering how Gypsy deals with the guilt she carries over the death of her mother, whom Gypsy helped murder in 2015. (Gypsy went to prison for eight years and was paroled in December 2023. She immediately started filming her reality show after her release.)

Anyway, Kail said that, like Gypsy, she carries a lot of guilt over her own past decisions, particularly her decision to stop speaking to her mother. (As Teen Mom 2 fans will remember, Kail has had a very strained relationship with Suzi for the majority of her life, due in part to Suzi’s alcoholism. Suzi has only met two of Kail’s seven kids because of this.)

“I’ve done nothing that involves murder, [but] I’ve made bad decisions, and the guilt has eaten me alive,” Kail told her co-host Kristen Hook. “But they weren’t necessarily, like, this level of permanent decisions… What would that sort of guilt feel like, to carry that with you for the rest of your life?

“Like, I cut off my own mom by choice, and it eats me alive every single day,” Kail said.

Kail— who has only heard from Suzi once in five years— said that the amount she struggles with her decision varies.

“It’s like one of those things where it comes in waves,” she said. “Like, some days more than others, some weeks more than others. But, like, that alone, I think about on a fairly regular basis. What would that be like to kill someone?”

Kristen went on to state that, in her opinion, Gypsy has “made amends” with her decision to help kill her mom, and that she doesn’t feel guilty about it anymore.

“So, I’ve made amends, and I’m at peace with my decision to cut my mom off,” Kail said. “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt on some days, weeks. That’s more so what I mean. So, I guess the same would, I would imagine, would be true for her. She’s come to terms with committing the murder.” 

Back in January, Kail revealed on one of her podcasts that Suzi tried to contact her via Facebook message after Kail spoke about her mom on a podcast. 

“My mom messaged me,” Kail said in January. “I think [the message said], ‘I love you, and I always will,’ or something like that…It took me a minute, but I messaged her back, ‘Then how could you walk this earth knowing that you have all these grandkids and you don’t care?’

“And her response to that really pissed me off,” Kail continued. “Because she goes back and forth with [taking] accountability [for her past actions].”

Kail stated that, previously, she had taken Suzi’s accountability as “not an apology but at least an acknowledgement. 

“At least you know what you did and, you may not be sorry, but maybe that was your best [parenting]? I don’t know,” she said. “But you acknowledged [what you did], cool.” 

However, Suzi’s response to what Kail wrote about her not seeing her grandkids shocked Kail.

“I just wasn’t prepared for that. She was like, ‘And your life? Walk a mile.’ And I was like, ‘Ma’am, you made my life hard. You very much f**ked me up. You chose whatever your life [was going to be].’ To this day, from all accounts that I have gotten about my mom’s life, my mom did not live a very difficult life. My mom chose a difficult [life]. She went down a path that ultimately…contributed to the life she’s living now. 

“…I don’t understand how you can say ‘Walk a mile’ when you chose that,” Kail continued. 

Kail’s interaction with her mom was short-lived, as Kail stated that Suzi ended up blocking her on Facebook. 

“That was the first conversation that we’ve had since she called me in 2019,” she said. (That convo played out on an episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ by the way.) “Right before that, she…called me because my grandmother passed away. So I’ve had three conversations with her in six years. And I haven’t seen her. ‘Walk a mile’ was the last thing she said to me.” 

Later on Friday’s episode of Barely Famous, Kail wondered if Gypsy would kill her mom again, even if she were given the chance to go back in time and change her decision. 

“She helped murder her mom, goes to jail, becomes an overnight celebrity, and now she has her own TV show. Would she do this all again? Would she kill her mom again knowing what the outcome is today?”

Kail reflected on whether or not she would change the major event in her life that changed the course of her future: getting pregnant at 16 with her son Isaac. 

“I say it all the time. I would never be where I am today if I didn’t get pregnant and go on 16 and Pregnant,” Kail said. ” So would I do it all over again? Yeah. Probably. I probably would. Not for the fame, but for everything else. Like, I don’t regret anything. Right? So, like, it worked out, but for her, someone was killed. 

“…Like, I made permanent decisions and ended up where I ended up,” Kail said. “[Gypsy] made permanent decisions in another way that helped her end up where she is today.”

You can listen to the full episode of Barely Famous below! 

RELATED STORY: Kail Lowry Talks About How Her Relationships with Men Have Caused Trauma To Her Kids;

(Photos: MTV; Instagram; Lifetime)

Related